i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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