"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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