I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize