Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
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Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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