Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
