p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
