Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize