i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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