How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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