i was born a porn star she said
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
