There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize