Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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