If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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