I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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