Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
