im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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