I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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