i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
