no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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