We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
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It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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