we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
