Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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