That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
