i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize