just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
