glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
