I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
