someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize