Yo dont text me then not text me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
