Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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