tell your sister to shave her snatch
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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