i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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