Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races