I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn