One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
