i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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