hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize