You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize