You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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