its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
