i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
