ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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