video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
