i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
