You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
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I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
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He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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