You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
