she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
