sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
