I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize