At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
