I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize