i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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