he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is wine microwaveable?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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