I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
