you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
