I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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