You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
